I Wrote This At 4am Sick With Covid

I find that I miss my grandmother. I find that I am lonely, but not in a tragic way—in a human way. I find that I am grateful for the cold bathroom tile against my flushed skin. I find that I want to live. Not in a dramatic, cinematic way. Just in a small, quiet way. I want to smell coffee again. I want to walk outside without feeling like my lungs are full of wet sand. I want to hug someone without worrying about killing them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to drink some water and apologize to my cat for the string theory lecture. i wrote this at 4am sick with covid

Check your phone. If it says 3:47am or 4:12am and you have not slept yet (or woke up drenched in sweat and coughing up a lung), accept that sleep is not currently an option. Fighting this will only make you more frustrated. I find that I miss my grandmother